As regular readers of this page may have noticed, the normal Editor's Note took a little vacation last month (although MIND as a whole has not taken the dirt nap implied by another startup publication). Getting back to normal, we've got random newsbytes aplenty for you. Let's dive right in. Newsflash According to InfoWorld Electric (June 22, 1998), the first Windows 98 virus shipped days before Windows 98 itself. The story claims that this virus is backward-compatible, so Windows 95 users need not upgrade to the new OS to experience the same effects." OK, so it's not a Windows 98-specific virus at all, it's a Windows 95 virus released by someone looking for some extra publicity. How pathetic that the press now covers new virus "rollouts." (And when's the last time you got a virus on your system, anyway? No, Office Assistant and MSN dial-up don't count.) Newsflash Speaking of virulent bugs: Amoebas strike at TechEd. Yes, it's true. Several staffers attended TechEd in New Orleans. Apparently some Creole amoebas hitched a ride back with us. We suspect it was the pork chop etouffee, the ritual touching of the Mississippi for the first time, or the three-foot-tall parasites we bumped into on Bourbon Street carrying 48 ounce Hurricane go-cups in their pseudopods. If you know what sitting on a broken Coke bottle feels like (and hey, who doesn't?), that's about what the amoebas have done to those of us who took home something more than muffalettas. Viagra smiagra: thank God for Flagyl. Newsflash Fawcette Technical Publication's new magazine debuts with a cover wrap proclaiming "Your issue of MIND has morphed into Web Builder." Hello? You probably asked yourself, what the hell was that all about? The answer is that no, we don't know either. All we're sure of is that MIND hasn't morphed into anything. See the Mail page in this issue for more with regard to this confusion. Newsflash The announcement of Microsoft Office 2000 (http://www.microsoft.com/office/2000/default.asp). What a great name! Maybe if Wordstar had thought of something that clever and futuristic they'd still be around. Newsflash One staffer's phone company wants to charge between $3,100 and $10,000 just to install an ISDN line. Seems his home, which is hardly in the middle of nowhere, is too far away from the switch. Will ADSL come to the rescue? Hardly. ISDN has a limit of 18,000 feet before it starts to degrade; ADSL only goes 12,000 feet. How about cable modems? Nope. The only local cable company doesn't offer them yet. Next time you hear your phone company tell you all about the wonders of the digital age and how they'll be there to bring it to you, ask them a few questions first. Newsflash MIND is pleased to announce that we're your official Beanie Babies headquarters! That's right, we've got plenty of your favorites in stock. New releases and hard-to-find discontinued models. Get them today! We currently have specials on "Stogie" the cigar, "Odor" the chimp, "Wiggles" the parasite, "Udders" the cow, "Sirloin" the steer, "Foamy" the raccoon, "Scruffy" the wino, and "Clippit" the annoyance. Newsflash Special rate for loyal MIND subscribers. Want an extra year of MIND, the magazine of choice for the discerning Internet developer? Surf on over to our subscription page today! A low $16.50 for a whole 'nother year of MIND is too cheap to pass up. Newsflash Pulp doesn't play older songs at concert. Look, this has nothing to do with software development, the Internet, or anything. But if they weren't going to play any of their really old stuff, you'd think they could have at least played "Lipgloss" or "Babies." (OK, we've proven we're cool by mentioning Pulp.) Newsflash Attorney General Vacco responds. In a strongly-worded form letter, New York State Attorney General Dennis Vacco says that "we may like Microsoft's products and prices today, but what about next year and the year after…?" Well, that sounds like a good reason to investigate everyone for everything. From the Maybe they'll do something someday. Here's an idea. Look into something that really affects consumers. Like why people are expected to pay $10,000 to get a simple ISDN connection. —J.T.