Here at Cynicor, we've staked our company and, more importantly, our e-commerce IPO on being an innovative company that offers products that no one yet knows they want—or need. That's why it was so shocking to read recently that one of our prime ideas, grocery bidding, was being stolen from under our noses. Look at this, from our June 1999 Editor's Note:
After getting sniped for yet another set of 1964 World's Fair dinosaurs on eBay, the idea finally hit us—Cynicor would start a service to let people bid on groceries. Think about it—how many times have you walked through a supermarket, gathering up items, only to find a frankly outrageous price on canned peas? 75 cents? No way! The Publix near Grandma's is at least five cents cheaper! Well, fret no more—Cynicor is here to help.
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We thought of it first!
From the June issue of MIND
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Through our CyniBid system, you can now tell 6,400 grocery stores around the country what you're willing to pay for that can of peas. You simply tell us what you're willing to pay, and supermarkets from Albertson's to HEB to Piggly Wiggly all rush to match it! No more overstocked inventory for them, no more running around the country looking for great prices for you.
As we were flipping through The New York Times on September 22, 1999, looking for the funny pages, we ran across this little snippet:
Priceline.com Inc., an on-line bidding site for big-ticket purchases like airline tickets and automobiles, plans to begin offering consumers in the New York area cut-rate prices on groceries like applesauce and cereal.
In a deal announced on Tuesday, Priceline will license its trademark and software to Priceline.com Webhouse Club Inc., a new venture through which consumers can set the prices they are willing to pay for grocery store staples ranging from disposable razors to peanut butter. If participating supermarkets accept the prices, the purchases can be picked up at the stores with a shopping list reflecting the discounts. Consumers will print out the discount lists from their computers.
We're not saying we deserve to be the only company in the market niche we invented. We're not even saying that we're the best at offering grocery bidding services. We're saying that we've learned our lesson. From now on, we will be aggressively rolling out new e-commerce initiatives on a weekly basis. In a few years, maybe we'll even look back to see which ones are
making money.
- Trip and travel planning Want to take a dream vacation, but afraid to commit without actually seeing the
destination first? Just type in any latitude/longitude combination and we'll show you a current weather satellite map of a 120 mile radius. Then, click anywhere on the map and you've instantly booked a vacation to that destination. It's simple, informative, and only requires the use of one finger.
- Consumer chat boards Looking to purchase the latest digital camera, but never heard of Usenet? Try our new product line chat rooms. Just sign up (it's free!) and you'll be able to trade opinions on the latest models of any consumer item. And the best part? You'll get to meet dozens of industry representatives who've logged in anonymously to post rave reviews of their own products.
- Web-based email We borrowed this idea from Network
Solutions. We've already set up your free Web-based
email. Your user name is your real name, and your password is the same thing. For instance, Gene Shalit is geneshalit@cynicor.com, password geneshalit. By letting
everyone use their real names, with the same password,
we plan to reduce identity fraud by nearly 100 percent.
- Life expectancy chart As part of our CyniHealth division, we've designed a site that lets you enter your age, gender, whether you're a smoker, and whether you're married. With these four values, we'll spit out your current life expectancy. For an additional fee, we'll actually hunt you down when you reach that age. (Not available in all states.)
- Pet services Don't know which breed of dog is right
for you? Just sign up to our Web page and we'll send you a different breed every week until you find the one you
want. Remember, you're under no obligation to keep the
dogs—just write "cancel" on them and
you owe nothing.
- Domain registration services for babies Now that the registration monopoly has ended, we thought we'd combine our own registry services with a cynical appeal for you to love your new baby by getting it a Web site. You thought all the good names were taken? We're showing that whinybaby.com, colickybaby.com, screechybaby.com, pleasestopcrying.com, and spit-up.com are still available as we go to press.
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